I have a weakness for movies that are so bad that they become unintentionally funny. The master of the genre is of course Edward D. Wood, Jr. who spend his entirely life making a long line of absolutely brilliantly poor movies.
One movie however stands out as so poor that it makes Ed Wood look extremely talented and that is Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Some highlights from the reviews around the web:
- Some films are so bad, they’re good. Meaning “fun” or “entertaining” or at least “interesting”… But few films can claim to be so dreadful, you actually feel physical pain while viewing them. So bad are these damned few that you don’t experience them or watch them: you “endure” them. This is the mother of all such films!
- “Manos the hands of fate” is without a doubt the most inept and atrociously awful film ever made. Its poorness is so extreme that of itself it is the film’s strongest selling emphasis. The script is non-existent, the acting makes Steven Seagal look like a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company and the editing could have less horrendously botched by a blind Eskimo with no arms. It is also painfully slow. this film makes its approximately 70 minute running time and make you feel like you’ve aged ten years. That’s what makes a film truly bad: the fact that despite its overbearing weaknesses it isn’t even entertaining!
- The story…well, I guess it’s supposed to be one of those “innocents get lost and stumble upon supernatural evil” deals. Actually, it’s more like an “irritating family gets lost and stumbles upon a group of vague cultists and their creepy hired hand Torgo” deal.
- There’s much more, of course, but “Manos” is like a train wreck, or a natural disaster: I could describe it to you, but you’d never understand the full level of horror unless you witness it for yourself. So go ahead, watch it, I dare you. At least you can take comfort in the knowledge that, after you’ve seen it, nothing else you watch will be quite so bad.
- After seeing this movie I ran through the house screaming at the top of my lungs for several hours pausing occasionally only to bang my head repeatedly on the floor. And that was the MST3K version!! Imagine seeing this movie pure and undiluted! It’s too horrible to conceive!
And here it is – the pure and undiluted horror that is Manos: